he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
