Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
