my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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