Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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