is your mom at the bar?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
