saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
