'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
