she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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