Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
