I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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