i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
