I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
