Christians are straight up FREAKS
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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