You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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