Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
