very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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