they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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