The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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