my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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