One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
