My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
