There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
