I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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