Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If I had your ass I would rule the world
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
