chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
