I can text with my tongue
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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