You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
