Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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