It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
