Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
