it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
