awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
