All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
