He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
