i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize