Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
