I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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