I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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