Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dear god my vagina.
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