I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I want to fling myself into the sun
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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