Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
