my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
