btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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