Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
