i just had sex bonerless
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
