i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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