Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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