Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
