I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
