Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
