Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
