just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
