I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dude. I can hear the air.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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