How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
