Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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