All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize