I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
