I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
