Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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